I decided to cut grains, dairy, legumes, weird additives, and ALL added sweeteners out of my diet for 30 days (formally known as the Whole30). And it’s not because I want to lose weight.
It’s because I want to stop using food to cope.
Unprocessed trauma forces you to develop coping skills to avoid dealing with your trauma. Because no one wants to deal with their trauma. So you find something else to occupy your mind and body.
There are some things you just can’t hide in marriage: Your habit of leaving your socks under the coffee table or forgetting to close the cabinet after picking your coffee mug for the day. Your morning breath. Forgetting to put down the toilet seat. Putting a roll of toilet paper on the wrong way. Snoring. The way you make a silly face at yourself whenever you walk by a mirror. Your paranoia about being watched. The way you run from room to room when it’s too dark to see. Your habit of waking up your husband in the middle of the night because you’re terrified of going to the bathroom alone.
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. - Luke 12:6-7
Church culture says: We want the good things God has for you; Don’t have sex outside of marriage.
Sinful nature says: We want to destroy the good things God has for you. We’re going to prey on the weak, innocent, and vulnerable. We’re going to taint God’s design for sex whether you consent to it or not.
Some seasons in life are incredibly hard and our souls become cast down, hopeless and miserable. During these seasons it’s easy to get swept away into the chaotic flow of thoughts that fill our minds
Healing isn’t linear. The hard conversations we’ll have here won’t be either. But we have to start somewhere, so we’re going to start with a little bit of vocabulary. Today’s vocabulary word is “trauma”.
God provides a broad path for us to walk as we follow him. When we stray from the path we put ourselves at risk for injuries due to our ankles giving way. I’ve wandered off the path before and I’ll wander off again.
It reminded me of sin. Specifically, how sin stains us. Yes- Jesus makes forgiveness- clear, un-stained glass possible. But our sinful nature still stains us. Our sin is ever before us.
Let your empathy lead you to talk about things no one wants to talk about. Be a friend- a brother or sister- ask the hard questions to the people you love.
“You’re doing an amazing job- I know you don’t hear that enough”.
Only weeds are persistent enough to grow somewhere nothing else wants to. Sometimes worshiping the Lord grows out of the desolate cracks of your heart in the same way: Persistently, somewhat unwanted, but absolutely needed and uniquely beautiful.
Relying on my own power is my default. It’s something that God has been trying to break in me the last few years. He regularly brings me to a place that I can’t white-knuckle my way though.
My sphere of influence doesn’t need more me.
No one wants to be resurfaced- ouch. Or torn apart- ugh.
You’re waiting, you’re rushing, you’re running behind, struggling to catch up or stay ahead. And then... things get worse.